I have posted something very similar here a few times, and it usually gets a good amount of attention. I apologize if you have seen it before, but some people haven't and they could use the money. In 2018 I made about 15k from this guide (give or take a few sites). In 2019 it was closer to 25k. This year I am on track to make 40k.
I also want to preface this by saying that this post has refs in it. Some are mine, some are random Redditors, and some don't have one. If that upsets you for some reason, click the link, delete the stuff after .com and submit again and that will take care of it.

Top deals for September 2020

Swagbucks $10-$35 Hulu deal
Right now SB has another deal where you get credits to sign up to Hulu with the $5.99 plan. It may only be $20 or it may be $35 when you check as they seem to change it day to day. Since this deal has new terms, the credits might be paid out immediately or after 32 days. The credits can be used for Amazon GC or PayPal credit (both take a few days to get processed). Not only that, but you can get a $25 Amazon GC for $22 worth of points, so you can make even more. You can cancel the subscription after 8 days, but no sooner so you don't lose the points. So, five minutes of work for the equivalent of $16-$29 and a free month of Hulu.
$50 from SoFi for opening an account and direct depositing
This one will require you to have $500 that you can direct deposit. SoFi Money is a savings account, fee-free, 2% APY annual; so typical bank account. This deal will require you to use your SSN, link a bank account, and do a soft pull with Experian to complete. You just need to create a SoFi Money account through the link, deposit $500 twice to the account, and wait for a few days. After the deposit clears (1-2 business days), SoFi will instantly give you $50 bonus. After you get the $50 bonus you can pull out all money and close the account or keep using it.
Another $50 from SoFi but for stocks
After you get the $50 sign up bonus from SoFi Money, flip it through this link and fund the invest account. Since I (and you now) already had an account, it literally took under 5 minutes to set up and fund the account. Either way you do it, SoFi will give you an additional $50 in free stock of your choice. Keep it and hope it grows, or sell it for the quick $50 profit.
$50 from Chime for opening an account and depositing $200
Pretty much the same exact set up as SoFi. This one will require you to have $200 that you can do without for a few days. You just need to create the Chime account through the link, deposit $200 to the account, and wait for a few days. It says direct deposit only, but this tested and worded with just connecting a bank account and doing the deposit. After the deposit clears (1-2 business days), Chime will instantly give you $50 bonus. After you get the $50 bonus you have to wait until your new debit card arrives and is activated before you can move the money out.
$50 from eToro
This is a crypto trading account. The same deal as the other ones. Fund the account using the ref link and get $50. The wait time on this one is usually around 7 business days.
$10-$120 in crypto for watching videos and answering quiz questions
$10 from Coinbase if you buy / sell $100 or more worth of crypto
This is a crypto trading account. The link takes you to the account signup screen. After you create the account visit coinbase.com/trade and initiate a buy or sell (in case you transferred crypto into Coinbase from another account) of $100 USD or more (or 100 USD equivalent of your domestic currency) within 180 days of opening and you will receive a $10 bonus (or local equivalent). Orders can take up to 4 business days to complete.
Pretty much just watch and answer videos for varying types of crypto. The crypto you earn will get deposited into the wallet you create, which can then be cashed out into USD. Depending on the day, you can earn up to $120 if all free tokens are available.
$10-$40 for signing up with OhmConnect
A great website if you have one of a few utility companies in California, Texas, or Toronto. OhmConnect supports PGE, SCE, SDGE, Smart Meter Texas, and Toronto Hydro. You essentially just connect your utility account, and earn points. You earn $10 after signing up and getting to a status level of Silver (took me like 10 minutes). $10 more if you connect a smart device like NEST.
Several hundred for test driving cars
Pretty easy. Click the link, go through the dealerships, get your code, test drive a car, and get paid. I did this last year and I was in and out on my lunch break. These offers come and go all year, so check frequently.
UNCLAIMED/ABANDONED PROPERTY
States return millions of dollars worth of unclaimed property a year. Unclaimed property typically consists of unclaimed money in accounts that have sat dormant for more than a year. Every state has its own abandoned property site but a good place to start is MissingMoney.com. It’s very simple to search there. If anything comes up, continue the search/filing on your states gov website. Example: California’s is https://ucpi.sco.ca.gov/UCP/Default.aspx. Just cashed a check for $35 from an account I closed years ago.
The following are ref links that I am putting in for a random Redditor or two, just to spread goodwill and try to give back to all of you. I get nothing from these and will be doing this for one or two random people every month. PM me if you want your ref link featured here. The Redditor for September is u/moongains
PERKSY
From Moon: Perksy is a survey app with nice payouts and a fun vibe. I’ve made about $50 on the app with little effort.

Ok. Back to the main post content.

Hey everyone. This is an all-inclusive write-up compiling all of my past posts on how I am making upwards of $1,000 a month through the use of beermoney sites. Beermoney is, according to Urban Dictionary, "Extra money for non-essential payments, available for spending on luxuries, hobbies, or a fresh pint of your favorite draft." I use this definition, because this is (in most cases) not intended to be a primary source of income. This is a way to supplement what you already have. There is no way to know what you will make any given month, so do not count on it. My worst month I only made around $500 and my best I made over $2,000. You can also check out my post on using apps to save money and earn cash back.
As I have stated in my other posts, this is not a definitive list of everything a person can do online by any means and refs are included. Do your own research on the subs I list, use Google, ask other people, and find what works for you. What I talk about works well for me, my family, and my schedule. Below I will include time requirements to make this money, provide a quick recap of the revenue streams that I have found to work, and provide payment proof for what I can.
I personally invest anywhere from 20 to 30 hours a week doing these sites, on top of my day job. Some days I will make $20 all day, and others I will make over $200. I prefer this, as opposed to a second job, because I can pay partial attention to a laptop and 'clock-out' when I want to focus on family or Netflix. This works better for my temperament and preferences.
Tech required: A working laptop, a cellphone (in some cases), an internet connection, and a fairly good amount of patience to learn. If you are in a position where these tools are not available, you can also do many of these from a library.
I put all of this info into an e-book, plus a TON of other stuff that was either written by me, or compiled from others (with their permission). Here is a link to it. If you tried even half of the stuff in the book, you would make your money back in less than a day.
The dollar amounts next to each site are what I made in 2018. 2019 and 2020 were considerably more, but I have been too lazy to update all of these. Anyway, on to the revenue streams:
SwagBucks ($775) Surveys – Majority of countries– This is more of a catch-all for stuff to do when you want to make and save money. You can do surveys, play games, and watch videos to earn points. You can also get cash back from using SB to visit and buy from different stores. You get paid in points which can be used to purchase gift cards or sent directly to PayPal. Each point is the equivalent of $0.01. Usually, SB will have deals where you can get certain gift cards for less. For example, a $20 Amazon gift card for 1800 SB points. The payout can be slow, but if you don’t mind running ads in the background, using a plug-in to save money while you shop, or killing time playing a game, SwagBucks can be a great way to earn $20 a month.
Mturk ($3,142): Small tasks and surveys - US mainly. Confirmed also in Canada, Europe, & Aus. - This is by far the one I spent the most time on and has been the best earner. This site lets humans perform small tasks that robots still cannot do well. It is owned by Amazon. Downside is there are slim pickings on weekends and when colleges are out on vacation. I typically stick to surveys, but once in a while do batch jobs which there are more of. You have to wait a week for your first payout, which will go to an Amazon payment account. You can the get payouts one time per day after that. Approval for mturk can sometimes be a pain in the ass, almost impossible if you are not from the US, but is definitely worth it in my opinion if you can get approved.
Secret shopper US and Secret shopper UK ($485): In-person store evaluation - US and UK only - These links will take you directly to a sign-up page. US version populates with my ref code. Feel free to delete it before signing up, if you want. You will be taken to the app store where you can download the actual app on your phone. Essentially, you go to stores near you that are identified in the app and take pictures or videos of specific items. I like this one because I have the ability to make a few extra bucks if I am already out shopping. The pay for this one averages about $15/hr. Note: I have not tried the UK version, but it was recommended by another Redditor.
Usertesting ($800): Website evaluation - US & maybe select others - This site allows you to review new websites and apps. The pay is usually $10 per recorded test lasting 10-15 minutes. Sometimes the pay is more, but never less. I average a few tests a week. Some weeks I will get a dozen tests, other weeks nothing. This one is great to practice your feedback skills, which open up a lot of other doors. Pay is through PayPal, one week (to the minute) after the test is complete.
Redbubble ([$305]: T-shirt creation - Worldwide - After getting rejected by merch by Amazon, I came here. You design and publish t-shirts, phone cases, and about 20 other mixed products, with each sell netting you a few bucks. They are based in Australia, and do pay-outs once a month on the 15th via PayPal. You do all of the uploading and just wait for people to find it with keywords or searches. Great if you are artistic or know how to use any creative software.
Prolific.ac ($3,500): Based in the UK, this used to be one of my favorites because they pay in Great British Pound (GBP) which is the equivalent to 1.25x the USD. Prolific is similar to Mturk (listed earlier) in that all you do is fill out surveys. Pay is better than Mturk, but the availability of surveys is not as great. In fact, I personally haven't seen a survey in months, but see others get them often. The initial questionnaire you have to fill out is a bit long taking me about 20 minutes, but ensures you qualify for every survey they show you and will never get disqualified for not meeting the demographic. You have to hit £5 before you can cash out, but you get this after a few days of watching for surveys. Leave it open in a tab and check it throughout the day. I wish I could do this one all day because the pay rocks, but I only see a few a day. They pay out in PayPal anytime you request it and have a balance of over £5.
Ebay ($190): Selling goods - Worldwide - Not much explanation needed here. You buy stuff in-person low, and sell online high. Here is a $2.99 beginner's guide dedicated to flipping that covers absolutely everything you need to know (also mine).
PlaytestCloud ($190): Video game testing - Many countries - This is just simple game testing. It is super fun, very quick, and you get to test new games before anyone else. They send you tests for different listed devices, you download the game file, and they record your screen and voice. The only issue I have with this one is that you are only able to test 3-4 games per month, at $9-$11 each. Paid almost immediately after each test via PayPal.
UsabilityHub ($15): App testing - Many countries - This one lets the user take quick one or two minute surveys on your opinion of an app screen. They pay for this averages to about $.10 a minute, so it is nothing spectacular. Just leave it open in another tab and take a quick survey when you hear a new one come available.
UserInterviews ($50): Studies - US & maybe select others - Similar to Respondent, but with less approval when filling out the demographics for each study.
Product Testing ($1,500): Mainly US & some UK/CA - There are places online that will pay you to leave positive/negative reviews for companies or purchase products. This is actually a big business model in China and other S.E.A. countries. Personally, I already know that Amazon reviews, Yelp, BBB, and everything in the middle are at least half fake reviews; so I may as well monetize on it. If this is something that sounds interesting, here is more info.
Reddit subs($2,300): It is super simple to use Reddit as more than a social media tool or news website. Knowing the right subs to subscribe to, and what to look for, can help you make a few extra hundred bucks a month. There are a ton that you can find small or medium jobs on, but I am only going to outline the top four that have worked for me.
/slavelabour: This sub is normally dedicated to doing cheap jobs for people, at cheap rates. I have both had things done for me here, as well as completed a lot of tasks. It may seem daunting at first, with people offering $2 to write an essay (seriously though.. no homework here), but there are gems to be found. Two of my best jobs have been creating meal plans for $60, and finding the name of a book for $80. Cancel that. SL is now power mods that block the decent work and only allow the trash jobs. No longer worth the time. I only leave it up as people ask about it when I don't.
/signupsforpay: Since slave labour does not allow paying people to sign up for websites, this is where to go to make a few bucks with signups. From connecting your gas and electric information, to signing up with Acorns, I have probably made a grand total of $100 here. Nothing overly special, but $100 is $100.
/giftcardexchange: This is one of my favorites, because you can buy and sell all of those gift cards you have/want. Have a $20 gift card from a family member that you will never use? Sell it here for 80-90%. Want to buy Amazon gift cards for less than face value? Get 'em here. I do a lot of buying on Amazon, so this sub has easily saved me hundreds over the course of using it. Caution: Trade carefully.
I know this is a lot of info and a bunch of it is repetitive from my last post, but I wanted to provide as much info as possible for the compiled post. Hope it helps!

Welcome to our community. In recent months a new HBO/ Channel 4 documentary, Leaving Neverland has made headlines across the world. At /MichaelJackson we feel that it is important to know both sides of a story before passing judgment, so in this post is some information which the documentary omits which would otherwise comprise or conflict with the narrative that the film’s director wished to create.

• For the past six years, both men, James Safechuck and Wade Robson, have been suing the Michael Jackson Estate for hundreds of millions of dollars. This lawsuit has generated thousands of pages of court records: witness statements, motions, depositions and disclosure. These public documents PROVE beyond any reasonable doubt that these men are lying.
  
• Both men strenuously defended Jackson, including under oath, for decades, and only decided they’d been molested years after his death, when they were both in financial trouble and filed a lawsuit seeking hundreds of millions of dollars. That lawsuit was thrown out of court – twice – but the men are in the middle of an appeal, giving them a gigantic financial motive to lie.
  
• Since filing their lawsuit, both men have repeatedly changed their stories, frequently telling directly contradictory versions of the same supposed events. For example, Wade Robson has told at least four directly contradictory stories about the first time Jackson supposedly abused him.
  
• In the lawsuit, Robson was caught lying under oath so brazenly that the judge threw out his entire witness statement and said no rational juror could ever believe his account. SOURCE 1 [p. 24] / SOURCE 2
  
• Between 2012 and 2014, Robson wrote two drafts of an abuse memoir and tried unsuccessfully to sell them to publishers. Meanwhile, he lied under oath and said he had never discussed his allegations with anyone except his lawyers. When the Jackson estate discovered he had actually been shopping books, the court ordered him to produce the drafts as evidence. They revealed the story of his abuse had changed significantly from one draft to the next. SOURCE
  
• Robson was also ordered to release his emails as evidence. He breached the order repeatedly, first by claiming they didn’t exist, then by simply refusing to hand them over. Then he redacted all the emails between himself and his family members and cited ‘attorney-client’ privilege, even though none of his family are attorneys.
  
• When he eventually complied with the court order and released the emails, they revealed that at the time he was constructing his lawsuit and abuse memoir, he was researching and emailing himself links to old tabloid newspaper stories about abuse allegations against Michael Jackson.
  
• The emails showed Robson found one particular story from the early 1990s which specifically named he and his mother. He emailed it to his mother and asked whether it was true. She replied, ‘Wow, none of that is true’. He then included it in his story anyway. SOURCE
  
• Emails also revealed that throughout 2011/12, Robson was lobbying Jackson’s estate for a job directing and choreographing an official Michael Jackson tribute show in Las Vegas. His campaign to secure this role had included sending emails explaining that his amazing friendship with Jackson meant nobody was better qualified for the role than he was, and he was devoted to doing the best job he possibly could ‘for Michael’. After being told someone else had got the job, he suddenly claimed he’d been abused and filed a creditor’s claim against the estate for millions of dollars. SOURCE
  
• Months later, according to Jimmy Safechuck, he turned on the TV and saw Wade Robson being interviewed about his lawsuit. In that moment, Safechuck suddenly remembered that he had been abused by Jackson as well, so decided to join the lawsuit. He did not mention that this epiphany coincided exactly with his inheritance circling the drain after a relative died and the surviving siblings started suing each other – including himself and his mother – for control of the family business. SOURCE
  
• Robson was also ordered to produce his diaries as evidence. In them, he had written about how these allegations might rescue his failing career by making him ‘relatable and relevant’. He also wrote, ‘It’s time for me to get mine.’ When questioned under oath about what he’d meant when he wrote that, he refused to answer. SOURCE [p. 250-252]
  
• Both men tell stories in the film which directly contradict stories told under oath in their lawsuit. In fact, they have continued to change their stories as recently as within the last month.
  
• For example, Jimmy Safechuck claims under oath in the lawsuit that he only remembered Jackson had abused him in 2013 when he turned on the TV and saw Robson. Yet in the film and interviews promoting it, he claims he knew he’d been abused in 2005 and thus, when asked to testify for Jackson’s defence ‘towards the end of the trial’, he refused to do so.
  
• But that is a provable lie. Safechuck was never asked to testify for Jackson’s defence. The judge ruled long before the trial began that testimony could only be heard about certain children, and Safechuck was not one of them. All testimony about Safechuck was literally banned from the courtroom. So Jackson’s defence cannot have asked him to testify – and certainly not after the trial was already underway. SOURCE 1 / SOURCE 2 [3782/15 to 3783/13]
  
• In Safechuck’s 2014 lawsuit, he swore under oath that his alleged abuse ended in 1992, and in the film, he described in graphic detail being abused in the second story of the Neverland Train Station. But this claim is literally impossible. The train station was only permitted to be constructed in September 1993 and was not completed until early 1994, when Jackson was in New York recording music, meaning it is impossible for Safechuck’s story to be true. SOURCE 1 / SOURCE 2
  
• In the film, Wade Robson goes into graphic detail about a week of alleged abuse with Jackson while his family visited the Grand Canyon in 1990, but this story is also impossible given that in 1993 and 2016, Robson’s own mother swore under oath in legal depositions that Wade had in fact accompanied them to the Grand Canyon, meaning Wade Robson could not possible have been abused as he described in the film. SOURCE 1 / SOURCE 2
  
• Robson claimed in a BBC interview that Jackson had abused him ‘hundreds of times’. Yet his mother’s sworn testimony is that they went to Neverland roughly 14 times but Jackson was almost never there. She estimates the number of times they visited the ranch and he was actually there was four. SOURCE
  
• Robson’s claim that he was abused in the recording studio while Jackson was working on his Dangerous album is rebuked by Brad Sundberg who was present in the studio for every single recording session with Jackson and witnessed absolutely no suspicious behaviour ever. SOURCE 1 / SOURCE 2
  
• Questioned about their financial motive, the men now say they do not care about money and are only suing to embolden other abuse victims by holding the Jackson estate accountable. This is a provable lie. The lawsuit was originally filed under seal and Robson tried to extract a settlement from the estate with zero publicity. Only when the estate refused to pay him did he go public. SOURCE
  

This film covers up all of this information, instead presenting two men’s heavily edited and completely unchallenged testimony without ever examining their credibility, their proven lies and perjury, their constantly changing stories or their financial motives.
...
Further information:

• Reason Bound Podcast #10: “Pirates In Neverland: The Michael Jackson Allegations” Host, Ryan Michaels, and guest, Charles Thomson go through in detail the major and most discussed aspects of the Jackson allegations.
  
• Neverland Firsthand: Investigating the Michael Jackson Documentary a mini-documentary by Liam McEwan
  
• Charles Thomson’s Gateway 97.8 Appearance Regarding Leaving Neverland
  
• A Comprehensive Discussion of Wade Robson's Allegations (WHICH INCLUDES CITATIONS AND THE RELEVANT COURT DOCUMENTS)
  
• A 30 minute video breakdown of Wade Robson's Allegations
  
• A 20 minute video breakdown of the financial motivations of Robson and Safechuck
  
• A 5 minute video breakdown of James Safechuck's financial troubles before filing his molestation lawsuit
  
• A Critical Analysis of Leaving Neverland (WHICH INCLUDES CITATIONS AND THE RELEVANT COURT DOCUMENTS)
  
• Michael Jackson: A Case for Innocence By documentarian and expert witness Larry Nimmer. This documentary takes you inside Jackson's Neverland Ranch and examines and explains many of the key elements of the 2005 trial and examines the 2019 accusations.
  
• The Estate of Michael Jackson's letter to Channel 4 UK.
  
• What You Should Know About the New Michael Jackson Documentary by Joseph Vogel
  

At my most recent Problem Gambling Support Group meeting via Skype (the same one posted on here weekly) it was my turn to do a therapy session. This is my journey from starting gambling until now. I thought it would be worth sharing here as someone may get something from it. It is a bit of a long read.
My name is Mark and i’m a compulsive gambler. My last bet was April 2nd 2019. The day of April 2nd was a massive turning point in my life, it was the day I finally admitted to my long term partner, who is the mother of my two children, and to my parents that I was a compulsive gambler and needed help. The weekend prior was when I finally said to myself I’ve had enough, I had been betting for 14 years and it had beaten me so badly that I was a mess mentally and financially. Although no one knew that because I was an expert at hiding it.
I started gambling like almost anyone in the UK or Ireland, The Grand National. The one day of the year where it seems like every man, woman and child has a bet on. The biggest horse race in the world. That and those glorious holidays spent in Portrush playing the 2p machines (penny fall machines). I don’t for one second blame those experiences for my gambling problem, they are just my first memories of gambling. One really vivid memory I have of gambling was when I was begging my dad for the latest Official Playstation Magazine, the one with the demo disc, and he was just sitting down to watch England play against someone and said to me “if Paul Scholes scores the first goal I will get you the magazine.” Now, I know for a fact win or lose my Dad would have gotten me the magazine, he just said that so I would give him peace to watch the match. Well I remember watching the game with him hoping with all my might Paul Scholes would score 1st and he did. That adrenaline rush, even at a young age (I was 13 years old at most I would say) was unbelievable. Now, again, I am not blaming that for my gambling addiction at all, it is just one of my first vivid memories but that mentality of gambling to get something I want for free would be a regular pattern throughout my gambling career.
Once I turned 18 I opened my first betting account with Blue Sq and that started my online sports gambling journey. Friday nights were spent betting on Wolverhampton all weather horse racing and the Dutch and French 2nd Divisions. All harmless fun, controlled gambling, small stakes. I was still working part time at this stage, left school that summer and gambling was not in the way. Once I got my full time job though that all changed.
The first time I could put my finger on when my gambling changed was the first day of the 2008/2009 football season. I’d been working full time for about 3 years and my gambling was still under control, well, at least I thought it was. My stakes were still low and I was doing football bets at the weekend for a bit of fun. I gambled, but it wasn’t causing me any issues. That Friday I walked into a Paddy Power and decided instead of placing a load of stupid football bets for £1 or £2 I’d pick three teams for the season and do a £20 treble each week. Sheffield United, Leicester City and Leeds United were the picks. Of course, the first weekend it landed (the only time it landed all season I think) and my betting changed from that moment. I genuinely can’t remember the odds but I must have lifted over £100 from that £20 stake and after that staking £1 or £2 just wasn’t appealing. What was the point in that when I could stake £20 and win more. From that moment my gambling started to get out of control over time. Then came the loans, the credit cards and the payday loans.
At some point around this time I had opened a spread betting account due to a sign up offer. Now I did not have the first clue about spread betting but the offer was they gave you a free £100 or something to sign up so I did. I was still living at home at the time and we had one computer which everyone used. Well my Dad stumbled upon this website and was able to access the account (he’s not technically minded so I imagine I left it logged in) and he seen the betting history and he went mental at me. Now, I did explain that it was just bonus funds and I hadn’t actually deposited any of my own money but still the lecture came. It felt like a lecture at the time to me but he was just warning me of the dangers of gambling. Giving me examples of people he knew who had a problem and how easy it is for a gambling problem to begin. So I can never turn around and say that I wasn’t aware of the dangers, I was, my ego was just too big to listen. I paid lip service to the lecture and said I wouldn’t do it again and my Dad took me at my word and trusted me.
So, I knew early on I had a problem. I self excluded from places over the years but never really wanted to quit. I was getting in debt but was able to continue with my lifestyle as I was living at home. I remember one day going to a cheque cashing place where I could write a cheque for £100, dated on my next payday, and they’d give me £90 there and then. I did two cheques for going out that weekend (and a couple of bets on the Aintree Festival) walked straight to the bookies and had the £180 on Denman to win the Aintree Bowl at even money. Denman was a monster of a horse, a machine. He could not lose...then he suffered the first fall of his career. Back I went to the cheque cashing place for another £90 so I could still go out that weekend.
I wasn’t learning from my betting mistakes either as I was just borrowing more money to cover the cracks. I got a few debt consolidating loans over the early years to try and get a handle on my debt but it just gave me an excuse to take out more credit. The payday loans which I used to either gamble or cover my expenses for going out because I used all my money gambling. I would borrow money off my Dad and give him the puppy dog eyes when I paid it back and normally he’d only take half of what I owed him. He thought he was doing the right thing and he wanted me to have money to be able to go out with friends, I was just manipulating the situation.
I moved out and into my friends house for a year and the gambling continued, although I had less money to gamble with. My credit rating was taking a battering but I was young and didn’t really care. Then I met my current girlfriend in February 2010 and we moved in together that September. The gambling continued and was getting worse. I made the smart move to get a second job to supplement my gambling…...at a greyhound track. I’d be earning about £20 a night but gambling £60 or £80. Insanity. We had our first child in April 2012 and not long after she found out I’d be gambling some of the money we’d saved. It wasn’t a lot of money, but she was pissed (rightfully so). I managed to talk my way out of it and that was when I became really good at hiding things. She took control of the rent money and any money for our son so that was never in danger thankfully. We had our daughter in 2016 but the gambling still continued.
It may seem like I have glossed over an important period of time there but the truth is I can’t really remember any of the details. The only details I am able to recall with any great clarity are coming up but I just want to touch on a couple of things from this period. This was a time when I had the biggest wins of my gambling career, two separate occasions. One was an insane run of luck where I couldn’t lose all weekend and ended up with enough money for me, my partner and our Son to have our first and only foreign holiday. Another time I had a £5 free bet and landed a treble at Sandown, all Gary Moore horses and won £3.5k. That money went towards decorating the nursery for my soon to be born Daughter, my partner got money, my Mum and Dad and her Mum and Dad. I bought a PS4 and gambled the rest from memory. The two reasons these moments stick in my head isn’t just the amounts, it’s the only time I walked away in profit, at least for the sessions in question and the reason is that I told my partner I had won the money. That was the only way I knew I wouldn’t gamble it all away because she would ask questions if the money I promised didn’t materialise.
Another part of this time period I want to explore is how I was emotionally. I was 25 when we had our Son and he wasn’t planned. It was a shock to say the least and my life, as I knew it anyways, changed. No longer was I able to do what I wanted socially, I had a Son to provide for. I was working two jobs, money was tight, was I still gambling? Of course I was but slowly I started to strip everything else out of my life. We had our daughter when I was 29 and to be honest here, as much as it sadeness me I thought this way I resented having kids, especially at that age. I felt trapped at times, people I knew were able to do what they want but yet I had all this responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my kids during this time as well and they meant the world to me, but I do feel that I got into the thought process that I was trapped because of them and my only escape was into the world of online gambling.
I would go through phases where I’d stop altogether for months on end, a year at one point which I imagine was around the time my partner found out about me using the savings for gambling, but I’d always go back to it thinking I was in control but I never was. When gambling I’d deposit £10, lose it, deposit another £10, lose it, rinse and repeat until all my money was gone. If I won it just meant I could gamble longer. It was never about the money. I thought it was, but really the money was the fuel that could keep me gambling longer. Most months I was skint a few days after payday and couldn’t gamble until the next payday. It may not sound like a lot of money but it was a relentless cycle month after month after month.
At the end of 2016 I got an overdraft of £2k and gambled it all on soccer all around the world. Woke up and started gambling in Asia, moved across the globe into the Middle East, Africa, Europe and then fell asleep betting on South American football. It was out of control. Betting on Egyptian football on Xmas Day a particular lowlight. This was what my gambling looked like when I had money. All these bets were in-play as that’s how I gambled, watching a little graphic on Bet365 and thinking I could predict what was going to happen. I also gambled heavily on tennis as well, picking a player to win a set 6-0 was one of my favourites. Generally I would start with £10 as I mentioned and if the bet won I would keep “investing” all the money until it got to a certain amount, normally a couple of hundred quid. Once I got to that point I would raise my stakes significantly because I would tell myself it wasn’t my money. It wasn’t if I didn’t count all the loses it took to get to this point over the previous few days. I would then gamble that until it’s gone cursing myself for not taking the money when I had the chance. Placing the last of my money praying to a god I don’t believe in that if he could just make this bet land then I wouldn’t bet again. Once the money was done I would just sit there, looking at my bank balance, the lack of money, the direct debits due to come out in a few days, trying to figure out how I would survive the next 3-4 weeks until payday. Then I would dust myself off and start working on some budgets. What direct debits I could bounce, who I could ask to borrow money from or maybe what I could sell to fund another round of gambling to try and win my money back.
Coming into 2018 I was in a “good place” with gambling, or so I thought. I was Matched Betting which was a way of making money via bookmakers offers. It worked well for a few months but it all went to shit in the Summer of 2018. Matched Betting introduced me to the casino side of things and I lost £3.5k on roulette. I’ll not go into the ins and outs of how I had that sort of money, lets just say I didn’t and I found a way to deposit via direct debit on PayPal and of course those all bounced. Luckily Paddy Power rewarded me by making me a VIP customer after that, every cloud and all that. So I was chasing big style and getting free £50 bonuses each week from them but I could never get enough money to stop, because no amount was ever going to be enough. Their offers of Money Back if Horse X wins are normally £10 max refund, I was getting £100 max refund. Eventually I was running out of ways to get money and when I started to bet less with Paddy Power they removed my VIP status. I did win £1000 on an NFL bet and lost the lot on roulette the next week. Another lowlight.
The win on the NFL followed by the lose on roulette sticks in my mind because visually it summed up how miserable I was. I had promised my partner back at the start of the year that we would get the living room redecorated and I would pay with it from my Matched Betting and she was happy with that. Of course I explained it was risk free and nothing could go wrong and it wasn’t even gambling. Anyways, come November we are due to have our living room redecorated and of course I do not have the money for it so I have to go to my Mum and Dad. I give them some sob story about how when I was Matched Betting I made a mistake, layed off the wrong horse and lost my money so could then lend me it and don’t tell my partner. It was a complete lie and to be honest at the time I didn’t think they had bought it but they lent me the money. Turns out when I told them about my gambling problem back in April they had smelt bull shit but my Granda (on my Dad’s side) was ill in the hospital and he was stressed about that so he just let it slide. So the redecoration was on and it was going to take a couple of days. One Monday night I had a bet on the NFL and it landed, £10 at 100/1. Happy days, I can give my Mum and Dad back their money, it’s nearly Xmas, this is amazing luck. So on Tuesday night I sat in my half decorated living room and thought if I could just win a little bit more then things would be even better so loaded up the roulette. I lost it all sitting in the living room and during it I could literally see what the money would be paying for but it didn’t stop me, nothing would stop me.
2019 I could feel myself struggling. My life was consumed with gambling or working out how to get money to gamble and then how I was going to pay people back what I owed them. I was in a bad place, I was a bad person, lying, angry but still no one knew the truth. January had always been a tough month as I run several NFL Fantasy Football leagues for money and I am in charge of the money. Of course, that was always gambled away by me and January was the month people expected pay outs because the season was over. Usually I would have won enough money in my leagues to cover it or convince people to pay for next year with their winnings that I could cover it. This year I could not and I had the added pressure of owing people money. A lot of these people were friends of mine I knew personally, others were people I had gotten to know over a few years and only talked online. Either way I had stolen their money and gambled it away. I managed to use my Granda’s death in January as an excuse for why I had not paid people yet, I was in a bad way with the funeral etc, all the excuses, the truth is I was just trying to buy more time.
Then came the weekend prior to April 2nd. I had just been paid and deposited some money into my Bet365 account and managed to get my balance up to £910 on Friday 29th March. I should say by this stage I was fully gambling on tennis. Not match winner, that took too long, generally set winner or next game winner as that was quicker. Now this £910 would have cleared some of my urgent debts to allow me to continue on gambling. All I had to do was withdraw, and I was going to…...once I got it up to a nice round £1000. As you can guess I lost the lot. £300-£400 on Benoit Paire was one of the worst hits but I was gambling like a mad man. That was how I bet when I had winnings, the stakes got out of control. By the time I was leaving work at 6pm on the Friday the whole £910 was gone. I was betting on ATP, Challenger, ITF, any tennis that was on I was betting on it. Back in the day I remember betting on a tennis match where they had one ball. Still a story that brings a smile to my face if I’m honest. A smile that consists of a mixture of shame and cringe. That Friday night I deposited whatever I had left in and managed to win back a good chunk of the money, but it still wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t what I had before. So the whole weekend went like that, up and down, up and down. I went to a family dinner and sat betting on my phone the whole night. That’s how my life has been the last number of years, i’m present at gatherings, or nights out but my mind is deep in my phone gambling away not giving a shit about anyone.
Eventually the money ran out that weekend. I was a mess. I could have actually made it work financially and gotten through the month but mentally I was gone. I could tell my brain had put me into a nosedive and the only way this was all ending was in disaster. Maybe not this month, or this year but I was being flown towards rock bottom.
I sat down on the Monday and wrote out everything that I owed, who I owed it to, a budget going forward. It was grim enough reading, £18k in the hole. The money wasn’t the issue, it was how it was making me feel, the time I’ve been wasting. The fact that I finally couldn’t take anymore, that I was ready to wave the white flag and say gambling has won, it defeated me. I found out when and where the nearest GA Meeting was to me and wrote that down too. So I found a set of balls and on the Tuesday I told my girlfriend. My attitude was that life can’t be any worse for me than it currently is. I was a mess, I cried, I honestly expected her to tell me to get out and I wouldn’t have blamed her, but she was amazing. She was angry obviously, but she was so supportive. Then I called my parents round and told them. They were disappointed, confused but also really supportive. Then the next day I told my closest friends who were again all really supportive. I owe them some money too and they’ve been great about setting up a payment plan to pay that back. I can imagine some people saying that I didn’t hit rock bottom in comparison to others, I felt that way myself to be honest. I felt like I had gotten off lightly but looking back the cycle I was in was soul destroying and although I didn’t cause the devastation others have caused I knew I needed to reach out for help as I couldn’t do it on my own.
I registered for GAMStop and self excluded online for 5 years which has taken the avenue of online gambling away from me. A vital step if online is your vice. I also handed over control of my finances to my partner which again removed another temptation. I’ve since learned in recovery that gamblers need 3 things, time, opportunity and money, take away one of those and you won’t be able to gamble. I took away two with these simple steps.
I then went to my first GA Meeting on Wednesday 3rd April. The time doesn’t suit me for that, Monday at 9pm is my meeting but I felt I needed to get to one ASAP. I don’t know what I expected GA to be, some sort of church run cult filled with a bunch of old men desperate for a bet but it’s one of the most amazing groups I’ve ever found. It’s a dumping ground for all my shit and it’s a place where I can listen to other people’s stories. Without sounding sexist, it’s something a lot of men could do with outside of addiction, a place to talk about life and how they are feeling. I take a 50 mile round trip every Monday to get there. When I was gambling if I had to travel 50 miles to get internet to gamble you can guarantee I’d have travelled every day. When I leave a meeting I am buzzing, for all the right reasons. I’m a lifer when it comes to GA now and I am fine with that.
I am also a member of the Problem Gambling Support Group and we run three meetings a week via Skype. This group has been so influential to my recovery and I have met so many good people I now consider friends through it. The topic meeting style is completely different to what happens at my own GA so it fits into my recovery perfectly and gives me a different perspective.
I have a sponsor, who has had a massive impact on my recovery. He has helped me work the Steps and is always there if I need him. At times it’s hard to tell who is sponsoring who but that sort of dynamic works well for me as I see him as a friend first and sponsosponsee second.
I have also found a passion for writing about my journey and post my stuff on my blog, on GamCare and on the Reddit Problem Gambling Sub. I have been told my stuff is very good and people seem to get a lot from it. As I explained at a recent meeting I am still learning how to deal with praise, it makes me feel awkward. I’m not sure if it’s from years of not wanting to be the focus of people's attention because of the fear they might ask questions and my addiction would be exposed. Whatever the reason I am working on being able to accept praise and enjoy it and as I was told at the last meeting...a simple thank you is usually enough.
I’ve been clean for over 9 months now, and I have not struggled with urges to gamble. My life is amazing, it always was but I was too wrapped up in my addiction to notice. I literally had everything I could ever want. I have an amazing partner and two amazing children along with my parents who are absolutely fantastic. I have my health, a job and my friends are another support network I couldn’t do without now. They stood by me when I admitted my problem and they gave me the belief that I could do this.
Recovery is now my focus along with my family. The debt can be managed, stopping gambling is one day at a time, but the main focus of my recovery will be fixing my character defects, helping others, being open and honest to people and not being a selfish asshole. I would like to think those that know me now can at least drop the selfish part when describing me.
I have put plenty of work into my recovery and I feel like I am getting the benefits out of it. I have a routine when it comes to meetings and they don’t impact on my family life. Is every day amazing? No it’s not. Some days are rather boring and some days are tough, but that’s life. Some days you have to make chicken salad out of chicken shit. I have accepted what I am, I am a compulsive gambler and I need to be the one who changes. No one else around me needs to change, I am the common denominator. I have noticed a change in myself and those closest to me. They all seem happier, more content, happy to have this me in their life and not the old me. I wasn’t a nice partner, father, son or friend when I was in active addiction. I don’t want to be the person I was before I started gambling either because I am pretty convinced he was an asshole as well. I am using this recovery to become the man I want to be, the man I can look in the mirror and be proud to be.
As I said, I have accepted that I am a compulsive gambler and I cannot have a single bet because it will lead me back to active addiction. I have no issues with the gambling industry or people who gamble, I just know that I am unable to gamble as it ends in disaster. I feel there should be more discussion around problem gambling and the industry should be putting more money into helping problem gamblers and to help identify problem gamblers. It’s a fine line though, as I know if a bookie told me they felt I had a problem and wouldn’t accept a bet I’d have been angry and just went somewhere else. You need to be ready for recovery to fully embrace it. I never was until April 2nd. For the people in recovery we need to be ready to help those that get to the stage where they are ready for recovery. We are the ones who these people will come to rely on as we’ve been through it, you can tell when talking to someone who hasn’t had a gambling addiction they just don’t understand. Over the coming years I think there will be a significant rise in people looking for help with problem gambling. I don’t feel like my story is close to the worst out there and I have read and heard some people who have the opinion that you need to cause devastation before recovery will work. That’s bollocks and that sort of attitude is why GA is filled with old men and young people are reluctant to stay. I have come to believe it doesn’t matter how much you have lost, how many relationships you have destroyed or what age you are, all you need is a desire to stop gambling and that is the qualification for entering recovery.
For now though, for me, my next bet won’t be about the money I lose, I’ll lose my partner and my children as well and that’s not a bet that I am not willing to make.
Mark

'''
I decided to write a piece about what is going in Poland. A quick overview of all polish sectors.
Poland is one of the last countries in Europe "without the coronavirus". At least that's what the Law and Justice govt. is claiming. The health care is severely underfunded and many MDs are not prepared for the virus in Poland. No masks, no gloves [video]¹ , no tyvek.
Citing this news [article]²

In total, Poland has 10,167 beds that can serve for people infected with coronavirus, which is 1,098 less than in 2003. The average use of beds in infectious wards is 64.9 percent, and in lung diseases wards 69.5 percent, so there are 3.2 thousand "Free" beds. The situation is also dire with specialists in infectious diseases and lung diseases. The former are 538, i.e. 110 less than in 2003, and the second 1261, i.e. 429 less than in 2003. With a larger scale epidemic, responsibilities will have to be shifted to doctors with other specialties. Fortunately, there are more doctors than 17 years ago.

But you know what? 2 weeks ago Law and justice gave 2B PLN for its TV station [You remember Lisocka showing the middle finger?]³
[The end of polish transformation]⁴

The investment priority does not mean that all welfare spending should be criticised. We should never turn a blind eye on inequality and applaud Korwin-Mikke, a controversial Polish libertarian. The problem with the PiS welfare policy lies in the fact that by making direct transfers it takes the easy way out. It is easier to transfer money to a bank account than to build a well-functioning education or health care system, providing high-quality public services. In a sense, by giving people cash, PiS deserts from the function which an effective state should be performing. If we absolutely need to make transfers, then they should go where they are most needed and most effective. The extension of the Family 500 Plus to cover a benefit for the first child as well, part of the Kaczyński’s Five programme supported by all parties in the Polish Sejm, will mainly go to families that do not require aid. The funds to be spent on this program could allow health care spending to reach the EU average level. There is no shortage of such examples. It is a pity that the opposition did not write up a competition for a smarter way to spend PLN 40 billion. Instead, it would rather take part in the competition announced by Jarosław Kaczyński and shout: „Not only will we not take it away, but perhaps even add some more”.

How the PIS ruling party in Poland is destroying democracy.

Intro

The below comment is also in form of a medium article: medium[dot]com/@cache_86525/how-law-and-justice-the-ruling-party-in-poland-is-destroying-democracy-23d188a9df36
PIS staffed every single court with its own people (ending the impartiality of judges). The very aggressive social 500+ program increased the job inactivity of Poles to 48% (48% of able 16+ Polish citizens are not studying nor working and are not searching for work - and that’s why they are not in the unemployment stats category). Moreover, the Health care system is the last on the EU ranking, we don’t have any R&D and our military is based around a couple of F16 and 40 years old T-72 tanks. There’s no fleet, the military schools underwent a purge of generals ( a couple dozen of them gave their resignation when they had to get orders from a 24 years old pharmacian without degree). The corruption and nepotism is rampant, more than 1000 family members and friends are in public companies or in different Ministries. Polish PIS high ranking politicians are also making money together with pimps and the mafia. They are also giving millions of euros from public money to the Catholic Church. They are paying trolls to spew hate on Facebook, via Whatsapp and on the web. Some of them are hiding and not prosecuting pedophiles in the Catholic Church. I mean, not to diminish Trump’s “awesomness” but imagine if the WHOLE republican party in the US was Trump-like. Shady deals, family in the govt, creating discord, staffing courts with their own judges. As a lawyer, as a person that studied pol.sc., I’m just mortified. Read the below to understand, albeit 1/10, the most important scandals.
Acronyms and main characters:

• PIS- current govt, Law and Justice, a Far right party with socialist programs. Majority in Parliament and the President is from PIS
• PO- Civil Platform, main opposition, center. Majority in Senate,
• J. Kaczynski, PIS leader, Twin brother of the dead Polish president
• Z. Ziobro, General Prosecutor and Minister of Justice. PIS
• M. Banas, Head of the Supreme Audit office. PIS
• D. Tusk, Ex-leader of PO, ex-prime minister, ex-president of the Europ. Council, now- leader of the European EPP party
• M. Morawiecki, Prime minister. PIS
• T. Rydzyk Roman Catholic priest and Redemptorist, founder and director of the conservative Radio Maryja station and tv TRWAM
• J. Kurski, chairman of the Polish national state broadcaster TVP. PIS
• A. Duda, President. PIS
• M. Kuchcinski, ex-Marshal of the lower house. PIS
• B. Szydlo, ex-prime minister. PIS

Destruction of the rule of law.

Some of the passages below are taken from [this pdf]⁵
No member state in the history of the EU has ever gone as far in subjugating its courts to executive control as the current Polish government. The Polish case has become a test whether it is possible to create a Soviet-style justice system in an EU member state; a system where the control of courts, prosecutors and judges lies with the executive and a single party.
Too few Europeans are aware of the depth of this crisis. Across Europe, national courts recognise the judgements of courts in other member states, whether these involve commercial law, the European arrest warrant or child custody. Judges must assume that courts across the EU operate according to common values and principles set out in the European Union Treaty and in its Charter of Fundamental Rights. Once judges across the EU have reason to doubt whether courts in any member state provide effective judicial protection, the legal order on which the EU rests collapses.
[Freedom house - How PIS captured Poland’s Courts]⁶

Constitutional Tribunal changes

It all began with the constitutional crisis four years ago. [Constitutional crisis and the destruction of the rule of law]⁷ In 2015, parliament changed the law on the Constitutional Tribunal, which rules on the constitutionality of legislation. The changes allowed them to annul the nominations of three judges made by the previous parliament and appoint their own. It shortened the terms of the tribunal's president and vice-president from nine to three years. The tribunal ruled the move unconstitutional in an open rebellion, but the dispute remains unresolved. [Julia Przylebska]⁸ - was illegally named the president of the Tribunal court by the president.
There's too much to describe. For further info please visit the link. It is an amazing summary of the whole ordeal. [timeline]⁹ and another [Great freedomhouse report]¹⁰ .

Supreme Court changes

The European Commission, the EU's executive arm, said one of the most controversial reforms was to do with the Supreme court, which, among other duties, is responsible for confirming election results. The idea was to lower the age of retirement for Supreme Court justices from 70 to 65, but allow the Polish president to grant a five-year extension to whomever they deemed worthy. In 2019, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) — the EU's highest court —ruled this was illegal, after an interim decision ordered 20 already-sacked judges be reinstated. Of course, PIS chose 2 new Constitutional judges, A politician Pawlowicz with communistic past and Piotrowicz, also a politician and a prosecutor that was an active communist during the 80 that prosecuted Solidarnosc. Both of them are above 65 years old.

Ordinary court judges

There were also moves to try a similar tactic in the general court system for judges and public prosecutors, lowering the age of retirement for women to 60 and for men to 65, down from the current 67. Under the reforms the justice minister, who is appointed by the ruling party, would have the power to extend a judge's term. The laws were somewhat adjusted after pressure from the European Commission, but in November 2019 the ECJ shot down these laws, too, citing gender discrimination and political influence over the judiciary.

Disciplinary measures for judges

Another PiS addition allowed judges to be investigated and sanctioned for their court rulings. The disciplinary hearings and procedures were to be carried out by judges selected via parliament. These reforms were criticized by the European Commission because "judges are not insulated from political control and thus judicial independence is violated." The commission brought legal action against Poland on this matter in October 2019.

National Council of the judiciary takeover

In 2017 PiS remodelled the National Council of the Judiciary, which selects candidates for appointment as judges by the President of the Republic. This allowed it, in the short term, to control appointments to the Supreme Court – including to a newly created Disciplinary Chamber, which hears disciplinary cases against judges, and to a new Extraordinary Appeals Chamber, which adjudicates on electoral issues. Over time PiS’ take-over of the National Judicial Council allows it to reshape the entirety of the judiciary. Fifteen of the 25 members of the National Council of the Judiciary were previously elected by judges themselves, as is common practice across Europe for such bodies. These fifteen judges are now elected by the majority in the Sejm, the lower chamber of the Polish parliament. The other ten members of the National Council of the Judiciary are: four members from the Sejm itself (all four members of PiS), two members from the Senate, one representative of the President of the Republic, the Minister of Justice, the president of the Supreme Court and the president of the Supreme Administrative Court. In total 23 of the 25 positions are directly appointed by political authorities.
After the election of the new KRS, a publication of the list with the names of judges declaring their support for specific candidates was refused. The Supreme Administrative Court ruled that those names must be disclosed. However, the Chancellery of the Sejm has yet to carry out the NSA’s ruling. The Constitutional Tribunal (TK) and the President of the Personal Data Protection Office have been roped into guarding the secret. [KRS destruction]¹¹

Restructuring the courts

Ahead of the 2019 election, the PiS proposed restructuring the court system. The justice minister said the country had four levels of courts that could be reduced to three. Critics said this could allow the government to reappoint most judges and get rid of undesirable ones through forced retirement or by sending them to distance appointments.

Muzzle bill

[the muzzle bill]¹² passed last month, victimise judges questioning the legitimacy of the government’s legal appointments, saying it is unlawful to “show hostility to other authorities of the Republic of Poland and its constitutional organs or to criticise the basic principles of the Republic of Poland.”The bill also delegalise the preliminary questions to the Court of Justice of the EU (CJEU). The bill also allows to fire judges (it is unconstitutional according to the Constitution)

Illegal pardon

[Illegal presidential pardon for CBA chief Kaminski]¹³ In 2013, Law and Justice (PiS) MP Mariusz Kamiński – who served as head of the anti-corruption agency from 2006 and 2009 – was found guilty of overstepping his powers. He was sentenced to three years in prison and was banned from holding public office for ten years. Polish President Andrzej Duda pardoned Kamiński even though he was still appealing his sentence at the time. The case against Kamiński was then discontinued. A supreme court judge said that the president interfered in the legal process because Kamiński was proven neither innocent nor guilty when he was pardoned, making a future ruling redundant. The judge said that the president can pardon someone after any final appeal has been heard “because then he is not interfering with the judiciary”.

Merging the General Prosecutor with the Minister of Justice

The general prosecutor role was merged with the minister of justice. [source]¹⁴
[200+ public prosecutors that are loyal to the Minister of Justice Ziobro (from PIS)]¹⁵ All of them got promotions (or someone from their family) or pay raises.

Overtaking the military

The creation of a [territorial defense unit]¹⁶ - a civilian army led by the ministry of defense to control “the situation inside Poland in case of attack” (Author: I wonder who's the enemy?). In addition, the demolition of the polish army [exodus of generals]¹⁷ and [killing multibillion deals]¹⁸ . Generals are quitting the military at an amazing rate, most of them are citing politics and bad management (dept. of National Defence)
Additionally, PIS instead of buying new Leopard tanks and upscale the current ones, decides to [overhaul old t-72 and not to invest in German tanks]¹⁹

The ministry of Justice and Ziobro is paying trolls to destroy judges

[Ziobro-Piebiak paid Troll scandal]²⁰ The Onet news portal published a report alleging that Deputy Justice Minister Łukasz Piebiak “arranged and controlled” an online campaign against Judge Krystian Markiewicz, the head of Iustitia, a judicial organization critical of the government’s efforts to restructure the judicial system, as well as against other inconvenient judges. According to the Onet report, Piebiak operated and financed an online campaign by a woman called Emilia who allegedly sent over 2,000 letters and emails about Markiewicz to other judges as well as to pro-government right-wing media. The messages contained fabricated, semi-confirmed and gossipy details of the judge’s personal life. According to Onet, Emilia obtained Markiewicz’s personal address from Piebiak so she could send him one of the letters.

Taking over the state media

State media was taken over by PIS and is using mass [propaganda]²¹ and [here]²² Not only they are a propaganda tube but they also offend polish citizens ie – [translation: defenders of paedophiles and alimonies-takers are the ones against judiciary reforms]²³ . They call every peaceful protest as a [coup]²⁴
As I stated at the beginning, TVP is receiving each year a "bonus" of 1B PLN or more.
The same can be said about the GUS – general statistical bureau. It is controlled by PIS and [it is known to “change” metrics]²⁵ so every Inflation or unemployment metrics can’t be trusted.

Destroying education and HC

[PIS cancels the in vitro program]²⁶ Polish government program that covered most of the in vitro costs was immediately cut by the Law and Justice Party when it came to power in late 2015, even though Poland has one of the lowest birth rates in the EU. Catholic Church opposition to IVF is widely seen as one factor in the Polish government's decision. But sociologist Karolina Wigura of the center-left think tank Kultura Liberalna says the attacks on women's health care aren't as much about religion as they are about control.
PIS also increased the minimum wage at the beginning of 2020. It created a weird paradox where a teacher and a starting MD is earning less than the minimal wage because they get paid from public money and the minimal wage change is for the private sector. Additionally, the

No one cares for the environment. Coal and Oil

[Destruction of the oldest European forest in Poland by Minister of Environment Szyszko]²⁷ The minister’s approval of increased logging from the last primeval woodland in Europe comes despite an EU warning that it could fall foul of environmental regulation and follows previous clashes over coal usage and migrants, as well as the ruling Law and Justice (PiS) party’s move to take greater control of the judiciary and public media. The Bialowieza Forest is a UNESCO World Heritage site that sprawls across the border between Poland and Belarus, occupying almost 580 square miles of woodland and providing home to rare European wood bison among others. Minister Jan Szyszko and foresters have said that more trees need to be cut down because of an infestation of the European spruce bark beetle. Environmentalists, meanwhile, say that increased logging will cause irreparable damage to the ancient forest, which attracts thousands of tourists each year.

Nepotism and “colleagues”

PIS won the elections by wanting to fight nepotism. It is true that the previous government used its power to fill the various ranks with colleagues and family. However the said persons were qualified to serve these functions. When PIS came to power they fired everyone and filled the ranks with their family, mostly unqualified. The most famous was “24yo Misiewicz, a former pharmacy assistant without a university degree was in the defense industry under Macierewicz. The apparent favouritism has raised ethics concerns in a party that won office promising to fight corruption.” [source]²⁸ There is even a webpage listing more than 1000 cases of nepotism under PIS [Misiewicze]²⁹ .
[A list of more than 50 sons and daughters of PIS politicians in state-owned companies or in the European Parlament]³⁰
[Glapinski's Angels]³¹ [here]³² you have a picture of Glapinski and his 2 "angels". Adam Glapiński is a long-time friend and ally of Poland’s de facto leader Jarosław Kaczyński, which is why he was given the job of running the country’s central bank. The scandal involves two of Glapiński’s senior aides. Polish media calculated their salaries, and claimed that the bank’s director of communications and promotion, Martyna Wojciechowska, makes around 65,000 zloty per month (over €15,000), 13 times the national average and more than the country’s president. The media also claimed that another National Bank of Poland (NBP) employee, Kamila Sukiennik, who manages Glapiński’s office, is also on the board of the Central Securities Depository — the financial instruments regulator — despite having no formal qualifications for the job.

The “so cruel” Ex-communists are in fact PIS members

They are accusing the opposition – PO - to consist mostly of ex-communists or communistic party members or collaborators. The issue is that most members of PO fought against the communism and spent months/years in prison in the ’80. On the other hand, the PIS party members scarcely fought for polish liberty and some of its party members are former communistic party members or communistic prosecutors like [Piotrowicz]³³ ! [or Polish CT judge]³⁴ . [Here]³⁵ is a list in polish of all current PIS party members who served as PRL members during the communistic era. So, PIS is fighting against itself.

Where the money goes?

Funding the Catholic church

PIS is pro catholic religion. PIS is funding catholic orgs from [public money]³⁶ . Ie £4.7 million to Lux Veritatis, a foundation behind ultra-conservative Maryja and Trwam of Rydzyk.
[Hiding Pedophilia. Map of 259 cases of suspected pedophilia in the church]³⁷

Smolensk commission

the so-called [assassination]³⁸ of Kaczynski's twin president brother in Smolensk created 90M PLN of costs. PIS created a "cult" around his death and even created a special commission that would prove it was an assassination. Kaczynski was using it on every occasion [Don't wipe your treacherous mugs with ...]³⁹ Spoiler alert – they didn’t prove anything and they buried the topic. Every 10th of every month for 3 years, the PIS party leader Kaczynski was making a "show" commemorating his dead twin brother. He was using the police to secure his demonstration even if he has no lawful power (he is neither a president, neither the prime minister, neither the vice president). New law [expanding police surveillance]⁴⁰ and the police is getting [raises after raises to keep them happy]⁴¹ . The commemorations, the commission and the damages (paid only to the politicians’ families, not to the crew) amounted to 91M PLN.

The welfare revolution

PIS is also very pro-family. The party is giving away 500zl per month for every kid. It is a very good idea however it has “bought” the elections. The polish economy is unable to sustain such an endeavor [roots of populism]⁴² . And it costs the economy 80B PLN between 2016 and 2019. My [comment]⁴³ . The best part? the Rate of natural increase is negative for the last couple of [years]⁴⁴ and inflation is still growing. According to the “PIS” Stats bureau it is 3.5% and growing. However, many journalists made their own baskets of normal good and services and the inflation is closer to 10%. Additionally there is a growing debt that PIS tries to hide by shifting some debt into other Funds. One of them is the “Solidarity fund” that is not counted in the overall polish GDP, that is to support people with disabilities will pay for the 13th and 14th pension of people 65+.

Funding propaganda and trolls

[Computational Propaganda in Poland: Russian troll factories]⁴⁵
[PIS bought the Pegasus spyware to spy on its citizens]⁴⁶ In September 2018, private broadcaster TVN24 reported that Poland’s state audit body, NIK, was questioning an outlay of over 33 million zloty (€7.6 million euro) by the Justice Fund, a government fund to help victims of crime. According to TVN, the money went toward the purchase of a “new system to spy on telephones and computers, the most expensive system in the history of Polish secret services.” Reports that the covertly purchased system could be Pegasus — a top-performing spyware that is impossible to track — surfaced last week.
Polish troll [farms]⁴⁷ promoting Duda and Kaczynski

Funding public TV stations

Polish public TV stations should be impartial and public. Not favoring any party nor government and give the same screen time to every party equally. Unfortunately, there was a purge of journalists the moment PIS won the election and the propaganda is stalin-like. [Polish TVP is the mouthpiece of the govt]⁴⁸ . [Source 2]⁴⁹ . Yesterday PIS voted to give an additional 2B pln to TVP this year (Last year they gave an additional 1.3B pln)

Fear of refugees and Homophobia

[Fear against refugees]⁵⁰ and calls for [xenophobia]⁵¹ . PIS is supporting [LGBT free zones]⁵²

Scandals

PIS has hundreds of scandals that each would destroy a modern government. They defrauded billions of PLN over the years, put 1000’s of family members in different state-owned companies. Below are listed the main sexual and financial scandals.

1. [Sex hotel Banas scandal]⁵³ Marian Banaś , a Law and Justice (PiS) politician and recently appointed chief of Poland’s Supreme Audit Office has been heavily embroiled in a corruption scandal, another to hit the ruling party just weeks before the country votes in a parliamentary election. Mr Banaś served as finance minister from June to August this year, and is a key figure in the party. Mr Banaś concealed his possession of a tenement house in Krakow from his financial disclosures. This property was then revealed to have deep running connections with a local, criminally-run escort agency. He claimed that the house was given to him by an old friend whom he met in the Home Army, which he then renovated. In his disclosures he claimed he would sell the house, which never happened. Banaś claims that this was due to the buyer’s inability to get a loan. Investigations have further revealed that Mr Banaś agreed to rent the property for 5000 zloty a month, 10,000 zloty lower than its estimated market value, according to Gazeta Wyborcza. Just as the scandal could not apparently get any worse for Mr Banaś, further investigation by journalist Bertold Kittel revealed criminal links. When Mr Kittel entered the property he found at the reception an infamous Krakow criminal known as one of the brothers K – Wiesław or Janusz, who control escort agencies in the region. While still under investigation, there have been suggestions of contact between the two.
2. ["Alleged" Paedophila and Sex trafficking scandal with Kuchcinski]⁵⁴ Wirtualna Polska learned the contents of the message of CBA officer Wojciech J. to the prosecutor's office about the failure of the head of the CBA, Ernest Bejda. In the background is a lost record with a recording of one of the leading PiS politicians who should have sex with a minor Ukrainian girl lost. His name falls on the document. In the message, Wojciech J. refers to several reports that he was the head of the office in connection with the "unauthorized access to his armored cabinet during his absence" submitted. From this vault, a record should be lost in escort agencies from the Podkarpacie region. One of the leading PiS politicians should have sex with a young Ukrainian in the recording. The statement signed by lawyer Beata Bosak-Kruczek mentions the name of Sejm spokesman Marek Kuchciński.
3. [KNF scandal]⁵⁵ - Leszek Czarnecki, owner of Getin Noble Bank, has claimed(you can find tapes) that Marek Chrzanowski, chairman of Poland’s Financial Supervision Authority (KNF), used a private meeting to suggest the bank hire a specific lawyer and pay him a fee worth the equivalent of 1 per cent of the bank’s market capitalisation in exchange for “support . . . and protection” from the regulator, in an official deposition made by Mr Czarnecki to Polish prosecutors and seen by the Financial Times. There are tapes and you clearly hear the chairman
   
4. [SKOK scandal]⁵⁶ - Cooperative savings banks and credit unions were not included in the banks, so that only after the introduction of the law in 2012, the checks initiated by the Polish Financial Supervisory Authority of credit unions began. After audits, it was found that 44 out of 55 existing savings banks do not meet the requirements. This situation directly threatened the finances of people who had taken out loans or loans from credit unions or entrusted their money. After 2014 controls, 13 credit unions collapsed and around 250,000 people died as a result of their bankruptcy. According to the Business Insider, the bank guarantee fund has so far paid them nearly PLN 4 billion 335 million.1. [SKOK scandal]⁵⁶ - Cooperative savings banks and credit unions were not included in the banks, so that only after the introduction of the law in 2012, the checks initiated by the Polish Financial Supervisory Authority of credit unions began. After audits, it was found that 44 out of 55 existing savings banks do not meet the requirements. This situation directly threatened the finances of people who had taken out loans or loans from credit unions or entrusted their money. After 2014 controls, 13 credit unions collapsed and around 250,000 people died as a result of their bankruptcy. According to the Business Insider, the bank guarantee fund has so far paid them nearly PLN 4 billion 335 million.
   
5. [SREBNA-KACZYNSKI scandal]⁵⁸ . The company in question, Srebrna, was founded in the mid-1990s by the conservative Porozumienie Centrum (PC) party, a forerunner to the PiS. The company is majority-owned by the Lech Kaczynski Institute, which was founded to commemorate the eponymous Polish president who died in a 2010 plane crash. Lech Kaczynski's twin brother Jaroslaw is on the institute's supervisory board. When Srebrna decided to erect two skyscrapers in central Warsaw, Jaroslaw Kaczynski signed off on the project. The Lech Kaczynski Institute was to move its headquarters to one of the towers and the remaining space was to be rented out. One-third of the annual revenue generated by the buildings would then go to the Lech Kaczynski Institute. A relative of Kaczynski's cousin, Austrian businessman Gerd Birgfellner, was tasked with bringing the €400 million ($460 million) project to fruition. To this end, Poland's state-run PKO Bank Polski apparently granted Birgfellner a €15.5 million loan. Without a permit, he then invested €1.5 million into the project, assuming Kaczynski would greenlight it as planned. But when Birgfellner asked to be reimbursed, Srebrna declined to foot the bill, as Jaroslaw Kaczynski had decided to stop the project.
   
6. [Morawiecki scandal]⁵⁹ . Poland’s Prime Minister Mateusz Morawiecki used his personal ties with a key figure of the country’s Catholic Church and town hall officials in Wroclaw for a huge business gain that he kept away from the public’s eye, the leading Polish newspaper Gazeta Wyborcza reported on May 20. The newspaper quotes documents to prove Morawiecki paid just PLN700,000 (€172,800 in 2002 prices) for 15 hectares of land, which the Wroclaw diocese had received from the Polish state in 1999. The land’s market price was assessed at PLN4mn at the time. After the PM bought the land, it was zoned to enable construction of an important throughway as well as commercial real estate such as offices. Morawiecki signed over the ownership of the land to his wife in 2013, the newspaper also claimed. The PM never mentioned the transaction or the ownership of the land in mandatory declarations of financial interests that public officials are obliged to submit and make public. The entire land the Morawieckis own is currently worth around PLN70mn, Gazeta Wyborcza claims on the basis of a survey of local land prices.
   
7. [PFN scandal]⁶⁰ A lavishly funded Polish organization dedicated to improving the country's international image is trying to rescue its own reputation. The Polish National Foundation, founded in 2016 and financed to the tune of 400 million złoty (€93 million) from the country's leading state-run corporations, was supposed to combat the deluge of bad press about the country's ruling Law and Justice (PiS) party. The foundation hasn't been willing to say much about its finances in Poland, but the online news portal Onet dug through financial statements made in Washington by a U.S. lobbying firm hired by the Polish organization. Onet reported that the White House Writers Group, a Washington PR firm, has been paid $5.5 million since 2017 to raise Poland's profile in the U.S. — a sum similar to the annual budget of the Polish Embassy in Washington. A YouTube site set up for the foundation had 13 subscribers as of Tuesday, with mostly fewer than 10 views per video. An Instagram account with stock images of Poland had 51 observers. And even some of those images were wrong. A picture of a sunset over the Polish capital turned out to be of Prague. A photo of ski jumping champion Kamil Stoch was of an acrobatic ski jumper — a completely different sport.
   

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Why the Polish health care is in bad shape
Go1dfish undelete link
unreddit undelete link
Author: Logiman43
1: stre*mable.c*m/*t*n* 2: *usine*s*ns*d*r.com.p***in*nse/korona*iru***-po*s**-cz*-sluz*a-zdr***a-jest-przygoto*an*/1x*wgbf 3: w**.*eddit.com*eur*pe*c*m*ents/*3igox**olis**mp_joan*a_l*chocka*sh*wi****_middle_finge*/ 4: klub***i**l*ns*i.pl/**1*/*7/*1/the-end-o*-poli*h-transforma*ion* 5: www.esiweb.org/pd*/*S**Ba**ry**0Po***ds%2**ee**ning%20cr*sis%2*14%20D*cem***%*02019.pdf 6: freedom*ouse.org/report/speci*l*repor*s/host*le-takeover-**w-*aw***d-ju**i*e-c*p*ured*p**a*d-s****r*s 7: *econne*t*eur*pe.eu/bl**/kon**w**z-*o*i*h-con*titution*l-cou*t/ 8: *w*.warsawvoic*.pl/**p*ge*pages**rticle.ph***75*9/n*ws 9: w*w.reu*ers*com/a**icle/us*e*-**l**d-chr*no**g*/*hro*o*ogy-poland-c*ash*s-wi*h-***over-judic**l*reforms-rule*of-law*idUSK**1JU25* 10: fre**omho**e.org*re*or*/*peci*l*repor*s/*ost*l*-tak*over*h*w*law-and-j*s*ic*-capt*red*pol*nd-s-co*rts 11: ruleoflaw*pl*face*-with-doub**-*v*r-**dys-*e***it*-*u*iciary-co**ci**presi*e*t*remain*-unrepentant* 12: 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w*w.bbc.com*news*world-eu*****3550*67* 41: https://www.money.pl/gospodarka/wiadomosci/artykul/zarobki-policjantow-w-polsce,48,0,2136624.html 42: https://www.cidob.org/en/articulos/cidob_report/n1_1/the_roots_of_populism_in_poland_unsustainable_growth_and_cultural_backlash 43: www.**ddit.com/europ*/commen*s/**m5*x*dear_eur*pe_plea***h*lp_**_d*fe**_f**edom*i*/dki*v9f/ 44: https://imgur.com/YgHQRTx 45: ***.*ii.*x.ac.*k/***g/co**u*a*io*al-propaga*d*-in-pol**d-fal*e-amp*if*ers-an*-the-d**it*l-public-*phere/ 46: ww**pol*t*co.**/art*c**/poland-*is*israeli-spyw*r*-q*est*ons/ 47: *w*.th**ua*d***.com*worl*/2*1*/nov/01*undercover-r**orter-*eveals*life*in-a-*oli*h*tro*l*farm 48: for*ignpolicy.*om/2**9/11/25/*o*a*d-*ub*ic*televi*i*n-law-a*d-just***-**s-m*ut*pi*ce/ 49: wszys*ki*-afer**pi**fando*.com/p*/wi**/**zd*ia%C5%82_*_*E*%80%93_Ministe*stwo_p*aw*y_a**_T**.*P*opagand*?*en*tify=c*e*ted 50: w*w.politico.e*/a**icle/po*it**s-nat*onali**-*nd-reli**on-ex**ai*-wh**pola*d-*oesnt-want**efu**es 51: **w.th**ua***an.com/comm*ntisfre*/2*1*/o*t*25*poland-right**aw-jus**ce-*ar*y-e*rope 52: www.indepen***t.co.uk**ews/w*r*d/eur**e/p*la**-l*bt-fr**-zo*es-homophob*a-h*te-s*e**h-law-jus*ice*p*rty-a90**551.*t** 53: e*****n*-e*rope.co*/*ew*/*oli*h-rul*ng-p*rty-pol*tician-*inked*with-crim***l-*nderworl*/ 54: new*be*zer.com/poland*ng*sex-*c*nda**with-p*s-*olit*c*an*the-***-**ent*r*quest*-t**-di*clos*re-of-this-*v*den*e/ 55: *ww.ft.com*c*nt**t/949b*91e*e6*0-11e8-8a8***4b8af*a6**3 56: www.reuters.co*/a*t*cle/sk*kw**omin-ba*krup*c*/*olis*-*eg**ator-se*ks-bankr**tcy-f**-cr**it**nio*-skok-w*lo***-*d*SL6N0T*1G*2*141212 57: www***ut**s.com/a**i*l*/*kokwol*m*n-b**k**ptcy/polish-regul**or**eeks*ban*ruptc*-for-c*edit-*n*o*-s*ok-wo*o*in-idUSL6N0*W1*720*41212 58: www.**.com*en**aczyn*k*-**pes*reveal-mu*ky-b*siness****lings-o*-po**nds-*ow*r*ul-pis-l*ad*a-**316459 59: www.intel*in*ws.c*m/i*dex.php*p*land-s*l*a*in***ewspa*er-accu*es-pm-m*ra*i***i-*f-sh*dy-re*l-esta*e**e*l-*615*3/ 60: 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Unknown links are censored to prevent spreading illicit content.

My Story
My name is Mark and i’m a compulsive gambler. My last bet was April 2nd 2019. The day of April 2nd was a massive turning point in my life, it was the day I finally admitted to my long term girlfriend, who is the mother of my two children, and to my parents that I was a compulsive gambler and needed help. The weekend prior was when I finally said to myself I’ve had enough, I had been betting for 14 years and it had beaten me so badly that I was a mess mentally and financially. Although no one knew that because I was an expert at hiding it.
I started gambling like almost anyone in the UK or Ireland, The Grand National. The one day of the year where it seems like every man, woman and child has a bet on. The biggest horse race in the world. That and those glorious holidays spent in Portrush playing the 2p machines. I don’t for one second blame those experiences for my gambling problem, they are just my first memories of gambling.Once I turned 18 I opened an account with Blue Sq and that started my online sports gambling journey. Friday nights were spent betting on Wolverhampton all weather horse racing and the Dutch and French 2nd Divisions. All harmless fun, controlled gambling, small stakes. I was still working part time at this stage, left school that summer and gambling was not in the way. Once I got my full time job though that all changed.
The first time I could put my finger on when my gambling changed was the first day of the 2008/2009 football season. I’d been working full time for about 3 years and my gambling was still under control. I gambled, but it wasn’t causing me any issues. That Friday I walked into a Paddy Power and decided instead of placing a load of stupid football bets for £1 or £2 I’d pick three teams for the season and do a £20 treble each week. Sheffield United, Leicester City and Leeds United were the picks. Of course, the first weekend it landed (the only time it landed all season I think) and my betting changed from that moment. I genuinely can’t remember the odds but I must have lifted over £100 from that £20 stake and after that staking £1 or £2 just wasn’t appealing. What was the point in that when I could stake £20 and win more. From that moment my gambling started to get out of control over time. Then came the loans, the credit cards, the payday loans.
I knew early on I had a problem. I self excluded from places over the years but never really wanted to quit. I was getting in debt but was able to continue with my lifestyle as I was living at home. I remember one day going to a cheque cashing place where I could write a cheque for £100, dated on my next payday, and they’d give me £90 there and then. I did two cheques for going out that weekend (and a couple of bets on the Aintree Festival) walked straight to the bookies and had the £180 on Denman to win the Aintree Bowl at even money. He suffered the first fall of his career. Back I went to the cheque cashing place for another £90.
I moved out and into my friends house for a year and the gambling continued, although I had less money to gamble with. My credit rating was taking a battering but I was young and didn’t really care. Then I met my current girlfriend in the February and we moved in together that September. The gambling continued and was getting worse. I made the smart move to get a second job to supplement my gambling…...at a greyhound track. I’d be earning about £20 a night but gambling £60 or £80. Insanity. We had our first child in April 2012 and not long after she found out I’d be gambling some of the money we’d saved. It wasn’t a lot of money, but she was pissed (rightfully so). I managed to talk my way out of it and that was when I became really good at hiding things. She took control of the rent money and any money for our son so that was never in danger thankfully. We had our daughter in 2016 but the gambling still continued.
I would go through phases where I’d stop altogether for months on end, a year at one point, but I’d always go back to it thinking I was in control but I never was. When gambling I’d deposit £10, lose it, deposit another £10, lose it, rinse and repeat until all my money was gone. If I won it just meant I could gamble longer. It was never about the money. I thought it was, but really the money was the fuel that could keep me gambling longer. Most months I was skint a few days after payday and couldn’t gamble until the next payday.At the end of 2016 I got an overdraft of £2k and gambled it all on soccer all around the world. Woke up and started gambling in Asia, moved across the globe into the Middle East, Africa, Europe and then fell asleep betting on South American football. It was out of control. Betting on Egyptian football on Xmas Day a particular lowlight.
Coming into 2018 I was in a “good place” with gambling, or so I thought. I was Matched Betting which was a way of making money via bookmakers offers. It worked well for a few months but it all went to shit in the Summer of 2018. Matched Betting introduced me to the casino side of things and I lost £3.5k on roulette. I’ll not go into the ins and outs of how I had that sort of money, lets just say I didn’t and I found a way to deposit via direct debit and of course those all bounced. Luckily Paddy Power rewarded me by making me a VIP customer after that. So I was chasing big style and getting free £50 bonuses each week from them but I could never get enough money to stop, because no amount was ever going to be enough. Their offers of Money Back if Horse X wins are normally £10 max refund, I was getting £100 max refund. Eventually I was running out of ways to get money and when I started to bet less with Paddy Power they removed my VIP status. I did win £1000 on an NFL bet and lost the lot on roulette the next week. Another lowlight.
2019 I could feel myself struggling. My life was consumed with gambling or working out how to get money to gamble and then how I was going to pay people back what I owed them. I was in a bad place, I was a bad person, lying, angry, grumpy but still no one knew the truth.
Then came the weekend prior to April 2nd. I had just been paid and deposited some money into my Bet365 account and managed to get my balance up to £910 on the Friday 29th March. I should say by this stage I was fully gambling on tennis. Not match winner, that took too long, generally set winner or next game winner as that was quicker. Now this £910 would have cleared some of my urgent debts to allow me to continue on gambling. All I had to do was withdraw, and I was going to…...once I got it up to a nice round £1000. As you can guess I lost the lot. £300-£400 on Benoit Paire was one of the worst hits but I was gambling like a mad man. That was how I bet when I had winnings, the stakes got out of control. By the time I was leaving work at 6pm on the Friday the whole £910 was gone. I was betting on ATP, Challenger, ITF, any tennis that was on I was betting on it. Back in the day I remember betting on a tennis match where they had one ball. Still a story that brings a smile to my face if I’m honest. That Friday night I deposited whatever I had left in and managed to win back a good chunk of the money, but it still wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t what I had before. So the whole weekend went like that, up and down, up and down. I went to a family dinner and sat betting on my phone the whole night. That’s how my life has been the last number of years, i’m present at gatherings, or nights out but my mind is deep in my phone gambling away not giving a shit about anyone.
Eventually the money ran out that weekend. I was a mess. I could have actually made it work financially and gotten through the month but mentally I was gone. I could tell my brain had put me into a nosedive and the only way this was all ending was in disaster. Maybe not this month, or this year but I was been flown towards rock bottom.
I sat down on the Monday and wrote out everything that I owed, who I owed it to, a budget going forward. It was grim enough reading, £18k in the hole. The money wasn’t the issue, it was how it was making me feel, the time i’ve been wasting. I found out when and where the nearest GA Meeting was to me and wrote that down too. So I found a set of balls and on the Tuesday I told my girlfriend. My attitude was that life can’t be any worse for me than it currently is. I was a mess, I cried, I honestly expected her to tell me to get out and I wouldn’t have blamed her, but she was amazing. She was angry obviously, but she was so supportive. Then I called my parents round and told them. They were disappointed, confused but also really supportive. Then the next day I told my closest friends who were again all really supportive. I owe them some money too and they’ve been great about setting up a payment plan to pay that back.
I registered for GAMStop and self excluded online for 5 years which has taken the avenue of online gambling away from me. A vital step if online is your vice.
I then went to my first GA Meeting on Wednesday 3rd April. The time doesn’t suit me for that, Monday at 9pm is my meeting but I felt I needed to get to one ASAP. I don’t know what I expected GA to be but it’s one of the most amazing groups I’ve ever found. It’s a dumping ground for all my shit and it’s a place where I can listen to other people’s stories. Without sounded sexist, it’s something a lot of men could do with outside of addiction, a place to talk about life and how they are feeling. I take a 50 mile round trip every Monday to get there. When I was gambling if I had to travel 50 miles to get internet to gamble you can guarantee I’d have travelled every day. When I leave a meeting i’m buzzing, for all the right reasons. I’m a lifer when it comes to GA now and i’m fine with that.
I’ve been clean for 3 weeks now, and i’ve had no urges to gamble. My life is amazing, it always was but I was too wrapped up in my addiction to notice. I have an amazing girlfriend and two amazing children along with my parents who are absolutely fantastic. My friends are another support network I couldn’t do without now.
I’m also a member of this sub (clearly) and they run a weekly meeting via Skype every Wednesday which is becoming part of my weekly routine (they are also adding an additional one on a Tuesday).
Recovery is now my focus along with my family. The debt can be managed, stopping gambling is one day at a time, but the main focus of my recovery will be fixing my character defects, helping others, being open and honest to people and not being a selfish asshole.
I have no issues with the gambling industry or people who gamble, I just know that I am unable to gamble as it ends in disaster. I feel there should be more discussion around problem gambling and the industry should be putting more money into helping problem gamblers and to help identify problem gamblers. It’s a fine line though, as I know if a bookie told me they felt I had a problem and wouldn’t accept a bet I’d have been angry and just went somewhere else. You need to be ready for recovery to fully embrace it. I never was until April 2nd. For the people in recovery we need to be ready to help those that get to the stage where they are ready for recovery. We are the ones who these people will come to rely on as we’ve been through it, you can tell when talking to someone who hasn’t had a gambling addiction they just don’t understand. Over the coming years I think there will be a significant rise in people looking for help with problem gambling.
For now though, for me, my next bet won’t be about the money I lose, I’ll lose my girlfriend and children as well and that’s not a bet that’s worth making.
Mark

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